late night thought

The streets are glittered with advertisements for free love, it is an utter shame that the media is so deceiving.

murder on main.

The same roomate that wouldnt go out to eat with me last night because it was a Sunday, is the roomate that is talking dirty to her boyfriend over the phone. Someone is punching my gag reflex. This living is unhealthy. Christmas is around the corner, I have been jobless since the moment I left ParadiseCafe August 16th. I miss the mexicans their so much.. I cant wait to visit them. But anyway, my parents will be paying for the Christmas gifts I give this year, I feel aweful. After some deep realization I came to the conclusion that my Christmas list has depleted magnificantly since life at BrightonHighSchool. I dont have to get my fake friends presents anymore just because they give me one. Thatsnice. & I dont have a boyfriend this year. I have mixed feelings about that, because I love getting boys presents more than anything. damnassholes. hahaha. I swore. But I really can't wait to go home and see my family and some old friends. Sam, Al and Ster. Taco Tuesday. plus the monkeys.. I dont think Al knows about those though. Perhaps we will have to swear him in. I havent had the chance to listen to Cudi's new album in FredJames with Sam yet either, i'm real excited. It'll be a neat experience. Their was a murder on main and I am absolutely terrified. I texted my mom at about one in the morning and she text me back like... 3 page texts telling me everything would be okay and to not be so scared. 'Ashlee Rawlings has mad anxiety' its on my forehead, it must be. Or perhaps i'm predictable. Or perhaps i'm phsycotic. Mental? Crazy! All of those things... shiiiz. THATS WHY I DONT HAVE A BOYFRIEND. Hahahaaaaaaa dangggiiitttttt. I'm listening to TheUsed right now, i'm downloading more of the used right now. Its a sign, i've gone EMO! how do you get rid of emo? This brings me to my next thought, why is it that the person that cares the least always WINS? Its like wtff.... if your an ahole life is handed to you on a golden platter. The entire time i've been writing this blahh there has been only one thing on my mind, the hair that I found in my food at la pointe, EWWWWWWWWWWWWWw. waaahhhh I wanna cry right now. I'm bawling. I'm crying soooo hawwwrddd..... uggghhh. bye.

sunday

Majority of the time I don't ask people questions because i'm afraid of what the answer may be.